In memory of civil marriage

Carla and Wissam met some seven years ago during a training course. He thought she was arrogant, she did not notice him at the time.

Yet, in a little more than a year, they had a modern romance. Recently, they decided to get married.

Wissam is a 29-year old Sunni Muslim and Carla is a 29-year Greek Orthodox Christian. He did not want to tie the knot in a church and she did not want to meet a Sheikh. They were left with only one option: a civil marriage in Cyprus.

They were both fine with this alternative, as it would preserve the rights of both in maintaining their beliefs and would not offend their families. The process was really easy. They were partly familiar with it as a few of their friends did it. The website of the Cypriot authorities also facilitated the process.

They took an appointment via email with the civil marriage officer who explained every detail. The time needed to contract the marriage is one day. A second day might be needed to ensure all steps are completed. They took the appointment for a “marriage by special notice”, which is a formula tailored for foreigners who need to marry in a short period. The fee for the marriage by special notice is 165 Cypriot pounds, the equivalent of about $ 310.

“Our appointment at the Nicosia Municipality was on Friday June 13 at 10 am. Perhaps it was a good luck sign,” said Carla.

“In shorts and sandals, we were at the municipality on time and met with the officer who ensured we had the proper documents and took some information to prepare our file,” added Wissam.

The officer was quite familiar with Lebanese people, since many of them come to Nicosia to have a civil marriage. All the Cypriot municipalities are prepared to receive marriage applications for foreigners and provide the needed information on their websites. Civil marriage in Cyprus was introduced in 1923.

“In half an hour, we went to the Judge, a very old lady wearing glaring red and a big silver medal,” the couple explained. “We stood in front of her and I put my hand on the Bible while Wissam put his hand on the Koran swearing that we know of no hindrance to our marriage and will abide by the Cypriot civil marriage laws”, said Carla.

Then, on the tunes of soft music, each one of them pronounced life-lasting love vows, by which the judge married them. They signed the marriage certificate along with two witnesses.

They stamped the marriage certificate at the Cypriot Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Then they sent it to the Lebanese Embassy in Nicosia also for stamping and later sending it to Lebanon’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs that registers the marriage in Lebanon.

This last stage is important to make sure that in Lebanon the law regards them as a married couple.

“The civil marriage experience exceeded our expectations,” expressed the happy couple as they “enjoyed every minute of it particularly the easy and simple but also very intimate process and the vows that were an exact translation of our feelings”.

The civil marriage was the only neutral way to legalize their relationship in a country, where interfaith marriages are not performed, and living together outside marriage is still a taboo.

Lebanon is presumed to be a democratic republic and is perhaps the most westernized and diverse of the Arab countries. However, with 18 religious communities coexisting after a 15-year civil war, it is still a country, like neighboring Israel, Jordan and Syria, that does not offer a choice to people who do not wish to surrender to the authority of religion.

Lebanon does not offer an alternative to those people who would like to exercise their basic rights as human beings over matters pertaining to personal status such as marriage, divorce, child custody, and inheritance. 

Lebanese Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs), some intellectuals and political parties have been trying to push forward this issue but have been facing strong opposition.

The latest attempt to introduce an optional civil personal status law was proposed by the Progressive Socialist Party, the Syrian Social Nationalist Party, the National Bloc, the Secular Democratic Party and the People's Rights Movement and was sent to Parliament.

 A previous attempt took place back in 1998 by President Elias Hrawi who forwarded a legislation permitting optional civil marriage to the Cabinet that approved it despite the objection of the Prime Minister Rafic Hariri and some other ministers.

However, when reaching the members of parliament it was shelved due to the strong resistance from the religious leadership of all sects.

In both cases, the confrontation was immediate with the Sunni religious authority response being the most radical.

The Shiite Muslim position towards this draft law was moderate. The Christians’ opposition to the law stemmed partly from the Christian-Muslim bargaining process.

The influence of religious authorities in Lebanon is quite powerful. Not all Lebanese are convinced that a civil society will be in their interest.

A survey conducted by Information International in 1998 revealed that 57.3 percent of the population believes that the civil marriage option should not be available in Lebanon, while 5.9 percent were indifferent. Nevertheless, younger people seemed to be the most in favor of civil marriage.

A correlation was detected between age groups and propensity toward civil marriage, with younger people being more likely to believe in having the choice of civil marriage.

More than half of respondents (52.2 percent) aged between 15-24 years believed that this choice should be available, while the percentage progressively decreases in the older age groups.

Regarding different sects, Sunnite respondents led the opposition to the civil marriage alternative with 71.8 percent against it and 24.7 percent in favor of it.

This was followed by Shiite respondents that were 69.2 percent opposed to it and 25.6 percent in support of it.

Just over half of the Druze surveyed (51.9 percent) were against it, with 36.4 percent in favor while Catholics were evenly divided at 45.5 percent both supporting and opposing the option.

The only two sects that produced a majority in supporting civil marriage were the Maronites and the Orthodox, with 52.6 percent of Maronites in favor of the initiative and 42.6 percent against it while 47.7 percent of the Orthodox respondents were in favor whereas 40.9 percent did not give their consent.

Lebanon, which currently recognizes only civil marriages performed outside its borders, would benefit tremendously from the application of an optional civil marriage law. 

Such an arrangement would encourage mixed marriages and would also seek to institutionalize equality between genders on many levels, including that of marital rights, inheritance, and child custody as compared to most religious marriages that favor fathers.

Civil marriage would legalize adoption, as well, forbidden under Islamic law. It could also pave the way for a possible abolishment of sectarianism in a country that has been severely suffering from this problem ever since it existed.

Civil marriage would deprive religious leaders of power and financial interests. The religious authorities in Lebanon maintain a balance of power that has been constantly used to obstruct any possibility for the development of a secular state and society.

Contracting a marriage in a church would cost at least $150 to pay the clergy a similar fee is paid to a Sheikh contracting a Muslim wedding and the amount can rise endlessly depending on the status of the religious figure.

Civil marriage can secure a source of income to the Lebanese government that is currently trying to seize any potential revenues for its ailing finances.